the journey

now i don't want to give the illusion that after reading all my posts up to this point, 

that my journey was over and i had it all figured out.

yes, i was changing and becoming the person i wanted to be,

but i was by no means there.

i am still not there.

every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home.

matsuo basho

i am journeying and self awareing and stumbling and fighting for the life i desire to lead every day.

here is a secret.

i am so lucky.

maybe one of the luckiest.

why?

i have a husband who picks me up when i am at the brink,

who loves me at my ugliest and tells me i am the most beautiful.

his hugs are my safe landing and i am sure any other man would have ran for the hills by now 

with all the family drama that went on and still sometimes does go on.

in order to become who i want to be i can't just rely on my night in shining armor.

it is wonderful that i have been so blessed, but i feel it is just as important to love myself.

to better myself. to accept myself and then go forward and spread happiness to others.

i know that is something i am not the most equip to do if i am constantly down on myself for what ever reason and negative nancying it up inside my head.

get out of your head!

don't take your self so seriously.

the past is the past.

let it be the past.

yes there were parts of today that were hard, just as there were parts of today that were beautiful.

the journey is never over, so try to find joy in the journey,